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Feeling stuck
This heartfelt blog post speaks directly to mothers who feel trapped in the repetitive routines and lost identity that can come with parenting. It validates the complex emotions of feeling simultaneously overwhelmed and unfulfilled, exhausted yet invisible, while deeply loving your children. The post explores the gradual loss of self that many mothers experience, the loneliness that can exist even when constantly surrounded by family, and the shame that often comes with admitting you’re struggling. Rather than offering quick fixes, it acknowledges the grief and identity crisis of motherhood while gently encouraging small acts of self-reclamation. The tone is warm, empathetic, and reassuring—reminding readers that feeling stuck doesn’t mean they’re failing, ungrateful, or broken. It’s a compassionate reminder that mothers are whole people who deserve to take up space in their own lives, and that asking for help and prioritizing personal needs isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
MS
5/8/20243 min read
Feeling Stuck as a Mom: You’re Not Alone
There’s a particular heaviness that comes with feeling stuck in motherhood—a sense of being simultaneously overwhelmed and underwhelmed, exhausted yet unfulfilled, needed constantly yet somehow invisible. If you’re experiencing this right now, I want you to know something important: you’re not failing. You’re human.
The Weight of the Everyday
Feeling stuck often doesn’t arrive with dramatic fanfare. It creeps in slowly, through the repetition of endless loads of laundry, the negotiations over vegetables, the sleepless nights that blur into foggy days. You love your children fiercely, yet somewhere along the way, you look up and realize you can’t remember the last time you felt like yourself. Not “Mom,” but you.
The routine that once felt manageable now feels suffocating. You move through your days on autopilot—making meals, breaking up arguments, wiping surfaces, answering the same questions, kissing the same scraped knees. And beneath it all runs a quiet, persistent question: Is this all there is?
The Identity Crisis Nobody Warned You About
Before kids, you were someone. You had interests, ambitions, conversations that didn’t revolve around screen time limits or potty training. You could finish a thought, a cup of coffee, a shower. Now, you’re fragmented—pulled in a dozen directions, meeting everyone’s needs while your own sit gathering dust in the corner of your mind.
This loss of self is rarely discussed in parenting books or social media posts. We see the curated moments of joy, the perfectly messy baking sessions, the heartwarming bedtime cuddles. We don’t often see the mom sitting in her car in the driveway, putting off going inside for just five more minutes of silence. We don’t talk about the grief that can accompany loving your children while mourning parts of who you used to be.
The Loneliness in a Crowded Room
Perhaps the cruelest irony of feeling stuck in motherhood is that you’re rarely actually alone. You’re surrounded by small people who need you constantly, yet you feel profoundly lonely. Adult conversation becomes a luxury. Friendships shift or fade as schedules and priorities change. Your partner, if you have one, might feel like a roommate you coordinate logistics with rather than someone you truly connect with.
And admitting you feel stuck comes with its own shame. Because aren’t you supposed to be grateful? Don’t you love your kids? Shouldn’t this be enough?
Small Sparks in the Darkness
Here’s the truth: feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or that you don’t love your children. It means you’re a whole person who needs more than one dimension to thrive. And recognizing that is the first step toward change.
Change doesn’t have to be dramatic. Sometimes it starts with the smallest rebellions: saying no to one obligation, carving out fifteen minutes to read something that isn’t a board book, texting a friend you’ve lost touch with, letting the dishes sit in the sink while you take a walk.
It might mean having an honest conversation with your partner about how you’re feeling. It could involve seeking support—whether that’s therapy, a support group, or simply a trusted friend who gets it. Maybe it’s revisiting an old hobby or exploring a new interest, even if you can only spare tiny pockets of time.
Reimagining What’s Possible
Feeling stuck often comes from living in the gap between the mother you thought you’d be and the reality of who you are and what your life looks like. Closing that gap doesn’t mean becoming perfect—it means getting honest about what you need and taking small steps toward it.
What would nourish you right now? What do you miss about yourself? What tiny change could you make this week that would remind you that you still exist beyond the role of “Mom”?
A Final Word
If you’re feeling stuck, please hear this: You are not broken. You are not selfish. You are not alone. Motherhood is beautiful and brutal, mundane and meaningful, all at once. It’s okay to love your children and still want more from your life. It’s okay to need help. It’s okay to grieve who you were while figuring out who you’re becoming.
You are still in there, underneath the exhaustion and the endless to-do lists. And you deserve to take up space in your own life—not someday, but now.
Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing harder work than anyone who hasn’t been there could possibly understand.