How to ACTUALLY be Present

The days are long but the years are short—and sometimes it feels like the beautiful moments slip through our fingers before we can even appreciate them. Learn practical, realistic ways to slow down, be fully present, and actually remember the good times with your little ones. No complicated mindfulness routines or unrealistic expectations—just simple strategies to help you soak in the magic before it’s gone.

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How to Actually Be Present: Capturing the Good Moments Before They Slip Away

You know that feeling when you’re folding the hundredth load of laundry and you suddenly realize your baby isn’t really a baby anymore? Or when you’re rushing through bedtime routine and it hits you that someday your toddler won’t ask you to read “just one more story”?

We’ve all heard it a thousand times: “Enjoy every moment, they grow up so fast.” And while that advice comes from a good place, it can feel impossible when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and just trying to survive the day.

But here’s the thing—you don’t need to enjoy every moment. Tantrums aren’t precious. 3 AM wake-ups aren’t magical. But there are genuinely beautiful moments woven throughout our days, and learning to pause and fully experience them can make all the difference in how we remember this season of life.

Let me share some practical, realistic ways to slow down and truly take in the good times, so that years from now, you’ll have more than just a blur of exhaustion to remember.

Understanding Why We Struggle to Be Present

Before we dive into the how, let’s talk about why being present is so hard for moms in the first place.

Your brain is constantly in planning mode. What’s for dinner? When’s the next diaper change? Did I respond to that email? Is that rash getting worse? Our minds are always three steps ahead, managing the invisible mental load of keeping tiny humans alive and a household running.

Add in sleep deprivation, which we know affects our ability to process and store memories, and it’s no wonder so much of early motherhood feels like a fog.

Plus, we’re conditioned to multitask. We’ve learned to do everything while doing something else—bouncing a baby while answering emails, playing blocks while mentally planning tomorrow’s schedule. Our brains are rarely doing just one thing.

Understanding this helps us give ourselves grace. You’re not failing at being present—you’re up against some serious biological and circumstantial challenges.

The Power of “Taking In the Good”

Psychologist Rick Hanson talks about a concept he calls “taking in the good.” The idea is simple but powerful: our brains are naturally wired to focus on threats and problems (it kept our ancestors alive), which means positive experiences can pass through our awareness without really sticking.

But when we intentionally pause to fully experience a good moment—even for just 10 to 20 seconds—we help our brains encode it into long-term memory. We’re literally rewiring our brains to hold onto the good stuff.

This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending the hard parts don’t exist. It’s about making sure that when something genuinely sweet happens, we don’t let it slip away unnoticed.

Practical Ways to Slow Down and Be Present

1. The 20-Second Pause

When you notice a good moment—your baby’s giggle, your toddler’s concentration while playing, a sweet snuggle—stop everything for just 20 seconds. That’s it. Twenty seconds.

Close your eyes if you can. Really feel it. Notice the weight of your child in your arms, the sound of their voice, the smell of their hair. Take a deep breath and think, “This is a good moment. I’m here for this.”

Twenty seconds is doable, even in the chaos. And research shows that’s long enough to help the experience move from short-term to long-term memory.

2. Narrate the Moment Out Loud

There’s something about putting words to an experience that makes it more real and memorable. When something sweet happens, narrate it.

“Right now, you’re holding my face with your little hands and giving me kisses. I love this so much.”

“We’re reading your favorite book together, and you know all the words. This is such a special time.”

Speaking it out loud engages different parts of your brain and helps cement the memory. Plus, your child hears that you value these moments, which is beautiful for them too.

3. Create Tiny Rituals

Build small, consistent moments of presence into your routine. These become anchors—reliable pockets of connection that you can count on.

Maybe it’s always taking three deep breaths together before bed. Or sitting on the front steps for five minutes after breakfast to watch the birds. Or having a special song you sing during diaper changes.

These rituals don’t have to be elaborate. They just need to be consistent. Over time, they become some of the memories that stick.

4. Put Your Phone in Another Room

I know, I know. But hear me out—this one is powerful.

Choose just one activity or time period each day where your phone isn’t with you. Maybe it’s bath time, or the first 20 minutes after you wake up, or during morning playtime.

You don’t have to document every moment to remember it. In fact, sometimes the act of trying to capture it pulls you out of experiencing it. Give yourself permission to just be there, fully present, with no device between you and your child.

5. The “One Thing” Practice

When you’re feeling overwhelmed or scattered, come back to this question: “What’s the one thing happening right now?”

Not the 47 things on your to-do list. Not the mess you need to clean up. Just the one thing happening in this present moment.

“Right now, my daughter is showing me her drawing.”

“Right now, we’re eating lunch together.”

“Right now, my baby is falling asleep on my chest.”

This simple practice gently pulls you back from mental chaos and helps you land in the moment you’re actually in.

6. Notice With All Five Senses

Our memories are often strongest when they engage multiple senses. When you want to really absorb a moment, mentally go through your senses:

What do I see? The way the light hits my baby’s face, their tiny fingers, their expression.

What do I hear? Their babbling, their breathing, background sounds that paint the scene.

What do I feel? Their weight, their warmth, the texture of their clothes, the chair beneath me.

What do I smell? That indescribable baby smell, or the scent of their shampoo.

What do I taste? Maybe you’re sharing a snack together, or you can just notice the taste in your own mouth.

This doesn’t have to take long—30 seconds of really noticing makes a difference.

7. The Evening Gratitude Check-In

Before bed, take two minutes to recall one specific good moment from the day. Not just “we had a nice day,” but a specific scene you can picture.

Write it down in a journal if you want, or just replay it in your mind. Describe it in detail—where you were, what happened, how it felt.

This practice does two things: it helps solidify that day’s positive memory, and it trains your brain to notice these moments as they happen throughout the day because you know you’ll be looking for one later.

8. Slow Down One Routine

Pick just one daily routine and commit to doing it slowly and mindfully. Maybe it’s the bedtime routine, or breakfast, or getting dressed.

Instead of rushing through to get to the next thing, move slowly. Make eye contact. Talk to your child about what you’re doing. Notice their responses. Let them move at their pace sometimes.

When everything in life feels rushed, having one predictable slow-down point can become a highlight of your day and theirs.

9. Create “Yes” Moments

Sometimes we’re so busy managing and redirecting that we forget to have fun. Create moments where the answer is “yes.”

“Can we be silly?” Yes.

“Can we dance?” Yes.

“Can we jump in puddles?” Yes.

“Can we build a fort?” Yes.

These spontaneous “yes” moments often become the memories that stick—for you and for your kids. And being fully present in play and joy is often easier than being present in mundane tasks.

10. The Photo Review Ritual

Once a week, look through the photos on your phone from the past few days. Not to post them or edit them, but just to look at them and remember.

Let each photo bring you back to that moment. What happened before and after? How did it feel? What were you talking about?

This practice helps you process and store memories that might otherwise get lost in the camera roll of thousands of images we never look at again.

When Being Present Feels Impossible

Some days, being present is just not going to happen. You’re too tired, too stressed, too overwhelmed, or honestly, too bored with the 500th reading of the same board book.

That’s okay. That’s normal. That’s human.

The goal isn’t to be perfectly present every moment of every day. The goal is to catch a few moments—even just one—where you really show up and take it in.

On the really hard days, your presence might look like survival mode, and that’s enough. There’s no guilt in this approach. We’re not aiming for perfection; we’re aiming for connection when we have the capacity for it.

The Memories You’re Making

Here’s something beautiful: even when you feel like you’re not doing enough, you’re making memories. Your children are absorbing these days, these moments, your presence.

But by learning to slow down and truly take in the good moments, you’re giving yourself a gift too. You’re creating a richer, more vivid memory bank of this fleeting season. You’re training your brain to notice and hold onto the magic that’s happening right now.

Because someday—probably sooner than you think—you’ll desperately wish you could go back to these days. These exhausting, overwhelming, beautiful days when your babies were small and needed you so much.

You can’t stop time. But you can be here for it. Really here for it.

And that makes all the difference.

Start Small

Don’t try to implement all of these strategies at once. Pick one or two that resonate with you and start there. Maybe it’s the 20-second pause, or putting your phone away during bath time, or the evening gratitude check-in.

Start small, be consistent, and notice what happens. I think you’ll find that even tiny moments of real presence can transform how you experience and remember these years.

The dishes can wait. The laundry can wait. The emails can wait.

But this moment—the one where your child is small and here and needs you—this moment is happening right now. And you deserve to really experience it.

You deserve to remember it.

So take a breath, look at your child, and be here. Right now. In this beautiful, messy, precious moment.

It won’t last forever. But you’re here for it now. And that’s everything.

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What helps you stay present with your little ones? I’d love to hear your strategies and favorite moments in the comments below. Let’s help each other savor this season together.